Strange Bedfellows
by Azure Gryphon
Summary: Waking up the morning after a hard blender, Sam finds himself in the company of the last being he thought he'd ever encounter on friendly terms. Adopted from aliengirlguy. This is Sam W./ mystery mech.
1. Chapter 1

Strange Bedfellows

Disclaimer: I own nothing here- not even the original plot idea or the first four chapters both of which belong to aliengirlguy. All I've done is edit. Transformers all belong to Hasbro and no money being made by moi.

Rated: T for wiggle room, may be raised.

Warnings: mild swearing, mention of naked Sam (nothing explicit).

**Chapter 1**

"Ugh! Oh man! My head!" Sam groaned unhappily as he rubbed his pounding head. He kept his eyes closed, knowing that the light would not be merciful to his poor noggin. He was actually half afraid of what light would feel like mixed with a post drunk hangover. Sam groaned again, grimacing at the bile-y fuzz that seemed to have made a home in his mouth. Fortunately, Sam was not easily nauseated, even after a night of solid chugging. Sam rubbed his temples as he groggily sat up on a smoothly textured, though uneven, warm metal surface. Sam registered three things all at once in his foggy, pounding mind.

First, was that the surface he was lying on wasn't his comfy bed or the slightly more comfortable dorm floor at his college and as a result, he didn't know where the hell he was. Second, he was naked. Completely and utterly birthday suited. Third, he had no idea how he had ended up in such a state. The last thing he remembered was stumbling out of some bar whose name he didn't remember, drowning his sorrows after his recent breakup with Michaela. Oh, it was mutual, but that didn't mean that it still didn't hurt. Then…there had been a lot of walking, he had vague memories of entering some alley, and then…everything went fuzzy from there. He had a vague sense that there had been someone there, someone…he knew? But for the life of him, he couldn't remember a face. Sam figured that by his point he should open his eyes so he could find out how seriously embarrassing his situation must be.

He squinted cautiously. The light was thankfully dim; he opened them wider, ignoring the slight throb from his temples. Then Sam stared. He closed his eyes, shook his head, wondering if people could hallucinate during hangovers. He opened them again, but the sight that met his eyes could not be denied.

"Oh Pit, my Processors! That's the last time I imbibe so much high-grade energon!" groaned his current bed.

Embarrassing nothing, he was so screwed!

The equally hung-over mech that was currently under an increasingly more horrified and confused Sam finally onlined his optics. His red optics. The groaning mech spotted Sam. The two of them stared at each other, their horror rising with each tense silent second, until the two of them yelled at the same time.

"What the Pit!"

"What the Hell!"

_Edited and posted July 7__th__, 2012._


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I own nothing here- not even the original plot idea or the first four chapters both of which belong to aliengirlguy. All I've done is edit. Transformers all belong to Hasbro and no money being made by moi.

Warnings: mild swearing, mention of copious drinking, naked Sam (nothing explicit), mention of sex/sparking (nothing explicit).

**Chapter 2**

"M…M…Megatron!" Sam yelled at decibels that both of them regreted as they clutched their heads.

"Fleshing!" roared Megatron, "Get your unworthy insect carcass off of me before I squish you!" The aggrieved and confused warlord didn't give Sam pause as he slowly sat up, causing Sam to slide painfully off his chest and onto the floor. Sam quickly scrambled out of the way as Megatron got unsteadily onto his feet. While Megatron leaned against a wall and attempted to access his glitched memory files, he watched the human out of the corner of his optic as he dived at a pair of pants and scrambled to get dressed.

Sam zipped up his fly, feeling better that he had something on, but for the life of him he couldn't find the rest of his clothes. The two of them exchanged weary confusion, as both waited for the other to speak.

Sam finally cleared his throat, "What…happened last night?" he was almost afraid to ask.

Megatron knew he should just squash the annoying fleshling, especially this fleshling, the one that had foiled his plans twice now, and had actually killed him once. Then there was the fact that the fleshling had dared to revive his weak idealistic brother Optimus Prime. Plus, he had one pit of a high-grade hangover, and Megatron was a smidge testy. However… Megatron growled in annoyance, he could not actually access the memory files for the past fifteen earth hours. He was not pleased. Trying to determine what might have happened last night, perhaps from an (ugh!) fleshling perspective based on what he did remember, and how they had found themselves only moments ago, he accessed the Internet. Megatron stiffened at what he found. 'There is no way in the pit that the two of us interfaced! That is not possible!' He is a lowly, disgusting, puny fleshling! There is no way that either of them could have been inebriated enough to…to have done that!'

He watched as the boy looked up at him with a confused frown, rubbing his chest slightly. His eyes watched the movements of his servo (no, humans had hands he reminded himself) as it rubbed the area directly over where the human heart was located. He snorted; he could care less what the annoying fleshlings expression meant. Still…he couldn't help the way his optics followed that hand. Had the boy been a Cybertronian, such a gesture would be considered a 'come on' as the humans say, to initiate a sparking. Megatron stiffened, growling and shaking his head. "I demand to know what transpired within the last fifteen hours fleshling! And leave nothing out!" he snarled, none too happy with his reactions to the fleshling so far, and also to distract himself from such abominable thoughts.

"I…don't know, I remember going to a bar after…some bad news," Sam felt that there was no way in hell he was going to share that he had broken up with Michaela, that was info that he would share with Bee later, like that the warlord would care beyond what could be used or not used against the Autobots later. "Anyway, I was there for quite a bit, I…" here his voice trailed off as he noticed the large pile of beer cans strewn around the warehouse interspersed with empty cube-shaped containers half the size of his body, "…Must have bought some more beer," he continued, furrowing his brow, silently wondering how he had lugged so many cans, "Then I walked for awhile, and then I met someone…though I can't remember…no! I remember the face now, I met you! Then…" Sam let out his own frustrated growl, that was startlingly similar to Megatron's own "It gets fuzzy, then blank from there, the next thing I know, I'm coming to without any clothes on, in a place I've never been before, and your ugly mug glaring at me."

Megatron let out a snarl at the boys disrespectful attitude, but grudgingly added, "The circumstances are similar in my case. I was tossing back a few high grades at a private place of mine, I imbibed quite extensively, and the last thing I remember was going for a walk and coming across something…ah! Yes!" Megatron huffed as the static memory file cleared, "It was you, but after that, I know nothing until I came out of recharge as you did and saw you- damn insect- drooling on my chaise!"

"Hey! I'm not an insect mister pointy-head! And I don't drool!"

"How dare you disrespect me, you squishy! I should kill you for daring to talk to me like that! In fact…"

"Wait…" Sam's voice was suddenly confused, then quiet, "Why 'should'? In fact, why am I still alive? Hell, why am I not running?" the last part more to himself then to Megatron.

Megatron scowled. The boy was right, why hadn't he killed him? And the boy, while an inferior insect, was not too unintelligent, he knew very well what Megatron was capable of, and that he would not hesitate to do it. Except… now he was. Megatron let out a small, frustrated roar, what was wrong with him? He stuck his clawed servos into the metal wall and tugged, making Sam cringe at the sound of screeching metal.

When Megatron was done scratching strips out of the warehouse wall, Sam decided that he'd had enough.

"Look Megs, this whole…er, circumstance, is bugging me too, but since neither of us can figure out what the hell happened last night, I say we just part ways now, pretend that last night and today didn't happen and never mention it to anyone."

"For once, I am in agreement boy," Megatron said finally, not likening that he agreed with anything that the annoying fleshbag suggested, "I will even be merciful and allow you to live for the day, to put permanence to…whatever happened, but be aware that I shall tear the flesh from your hide, slowly, painfully until you…"

"…Beg for death, yeah I know," Sam sighed, rolling his eyes, "Well, bye then."

Megatron snarled a few more insults and threats in the boy's direction then turned his back on him completely, marching out of the warehouse; not caring what happened or what the boy did.

Sam stared hard at the broad silver metal back, trying very hard not to make a sound. 'I will not laugh,' he told himself, 'I will not laugh.'

Soon, Megatron transformed into his alien flyer mode and zoomed away into the fathomless blue of earth's sky. When he was sure that Megatron was far enough away not to hear him, Sam doubled over in laughter.

Megatron glared at his few remaining subordinates as he walked passed them. He recognized a few new faces, Skywarp and Thundercracker- Starscream's trine mates, Hook, and gargantuan Femmebot of near monolithical proportions that outsized many of her fellow mechs- the memorable Strika. Not many mechs would dare to approach that cold female. She was his General of destruction. It was Strika though who finally brought Megatron out of his reverie at her uncharacteristic gasp.

He glared at her, "What?" he barked.

"Lord Megatron sir, perhaps you should see your back." She said bluntly in her deep vocals. Frowning, and glaring at the femme, promising retribution should he be annoyed, he veered away from the throne room and into his private chambers. He was curious now; he had watched Starscream fly into a wall at the sight of his leader, now he really wanted to find out what was so strange. He activated a Cybertronian-sized mirror and presented his back to the mirror. What he saw there made him roar in rage. There, as clear as day, was the phrase from one of those annoying fleshling songs in permanent bright red car marker.

I'm too sexy for a shirt.

"I'LL KILL HIM! I'LL RIP OUT HIS VICARA AND WRING HIS NECK WITH IT! I'LL…" the roar of rage echoed and shook the Decepticon base for a long time, while a few brave Decepticon sparks snickered into their servo's.

_Edited and posted July 7__th__, 2012._


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I own nothing here- not even the original plot idea or the first four chapters both of which belong to aliengirlguy. All I've done is edit. Transformers all belong to Hasbro and no money being made by moi.

Warnings: mild swearing, mention of copious drinking, naked Sam (nothing explicit), mention of sex/sparking (nothing explicit).

Strange Bed Fellows

Chapter 3

When Sam finally managed to crawl into his dorm room it was already late into the afternoon and he was exhausted both physically and emotionally. On the rather long walk back to the college, silently marveling at the sheer distance that drunks are apparently capable of traveling, he mulled over everything that had happened to him in the past twenty-four hours. He had been dumped, gotten drunk, lost his memory, and woken up in a very compromising decision with the last being he would have ever thought that would happen with. Sam groaned into his pillow.

"I'll never drink again." he groaned. He wondered if Megatron shared the same opinion. Sam sighed, rubbing his chest idly. It had felt strange since his rather rude awakening in that nameless warehouse. He felt like his heart was beating a mile a minute, so fast that it felt like more of a hum then an actual beat. He also felt hot and had shucked his few remaining clothes as soon as he was able. Sam took a few cold showers, which helped a little, but he was still feeling warm. Deciding that a nap might help his fevered body, he crawled back into bed and fell instantly asleep.

Ooo ooo ooo ooo

Megatron was not a pleased Mech. It had taken hours for Hook to remove the offending phrase from his back. Megatron was still partially hung-over and upset by the events that had preceded his arrival to the base. Fortunately, his peons were fearful enough for the sake of their pathetic hides that they didn't dare ask how he had ended up with the bright red human insult scrawled onto his back. After he had gained control of his temper, he had considered that himself. Again he determinedly searched his glitched memory banks and actually found a vague memory.

FLASHBACK…

Megatron was sitting against a wall; tossing back another cube of high grade as the human insect sitting precariously on his leg cheered him on.

"You know, you're alright Megs," the human had said, with surprisingly very little slurring given how much alcohol the human had consumed. According to the Internet, and his own scans the drink called 'beer' affected the human's inferior processor amongst other more disgusting fleshbag reactions. The boy seemed vocally coherent though, and had yet to show any sign of those more disgusting qualities, beyond losing his balance a couple of times. Not that Megatron himself was necessarily steady on his legs, which was why he was sitting.

Megatron had tossed aside his cube and reached for another while the boy had popped the top of another can.

"For a fleshbag, you do have some redeeming qualities yourself." He acknowledged with a slight crackle to his vocal processor in a cybertronian version of a hiccup, "After all, even my worthless (crackle) brother was unable to slay me in all the eons that our war has (crackle) gone, longer than your race has been around (crackle) and a mere youngling organic is the one to defeat me! (Crackle snort!). I would lay a few hundred gallons of energon that my brother was shocked out of his processor."

"A little," the boy acknowledged with a giggle, "(hick) Though I think not as much as when he woke up and found himself in Egypt - alive."

"That I can sympathize (crackle) with, loath as I am to admit it. Though not as much as I was when I heard that you shared in my and my worthless brother's revival from the matrix."

"Yeah, not half as much as my fellow humans, I thought Will was going to have a heart attack when he saw me run for Optimus." Sam giggled, tossing back another beer, crushing the can against his forehead and tossing it onto the floor.

"So, how about we celebrate it?" he mused, belching lightly.

"Celebrate what fleshling? My defeat at the servo's of a prime example of Primus' rather poor taste in humor?" Megatron had drawled, too over-energized to really be angry.

"Naw, that would be (hic!) rude! What I mean is, (hic) the two of us have a lot in common you know? Like the fact that we've both been (hic) killed by each other, and lived to tell about it." In his Energon befuddled state, Megatron had to agree, though he would never say it out loud. Even his brother, who could share in the experience of being resurrected as he and the boy had been, had never actually killed either him or the boy. It was a strange thing to realize that he had more in common with the fleshling then he did with any other Cybertronian.

"So what (crackle) do you propose?" he asked finally, curious despite himself.

"We'll call this our…uh, (hic), um...rebirth day!"

"That's foolish!" he scoffed, pulling open another cube, "The both of us (crackle) died and revived at different times and days."

"Yeah, see but that's (hic!) why it's so brilliant!" he gestured expansively as he became more excited at the idea, "We just choose like, a day that we can remember as our rebirth day, it makes it much easier and more special that way. Like today for example."

"Why today?"

"Because we're not killing each other."

"You know that as soon as both of us are sober that I will just kill you anyway?" Megatron had pointed out, amused.

"Well, yeah, but morning isn't for another few hours yet, so I say we celebrate our rebirth day while the lights (hic) are still out."

"Oh? And how do you suggest we do that?" Megatron asked, curious to see what the human would suggest.

"Well, how about the game 'Truth or Dare'." The human pronounced, sounding pleased with himself. The human briefly explained the rules, which were few. Megatron was intrigued by the simple, inane fleshling game.

"Very well, I will (crackle) participate in this primitive game, and I shall be victorious!"

The human rolled his optics (no, they called them eyes) and said, "So you want to go first?"

"Very well (crackle), truth or dare?"

"Um…truth! (Hic)"

He thought about what to ask the boy then questioned, "Has that glitch-head Ironhide shot my brother in the aft yet?"

Sam laughed and nearly fell off, finally when he was more composed, he replied, "Actually, a few months before I left for college, Bee told me that Jolt had told him that Ironhide got distracted on the target field and actually shot Optimus in the butt with one of his cannons by accident. (Hic, hic) he was in the med bay for a week!" both of them laughed heartily at that.

"Alright fleshling, it's your turn."

"Alright, truth or dare?"

"Hmmm…Dare I think."

The boy snickered, looking for a brief moment like he would be right at home in the Decepticon ranks, "I dare you to let me write something on your back!"

"That is the most preposterous!" he had sputtered, but from the smug look on the human, he knew that if he refused the dare, he would lose to the human, and that was something he was determined to not happen.

"Fine then!" he snarled as his vocals produced a bit more static. He allowed the boy to vacate as he lay down on his side, presenting his back plating to the boy. It didn't take long for the boy to pull out a red car marker from his pocket and scratched something onto his back. He was too over-energized to use his proximity scanners well enough to find out what the boy was writing. When the boy was done he capped the marker and grinning had told Megatron that he could sit up. The human perched back on his leg and said gleefully, "Wait until you're sober before reading it." Megatron had growled death threats but soon forgot about the mild defacement on his back plates.

"My turn boy, truth or dare?"

Perhaps it was the alcohol, but the boy hiccupped again and said, grinning, "Dare."

Megatron grinned (an expression that usually heralded the torture of some poor unfortunate soul), "I have asked you before boy, is it courage or foolishness that drives you?"

"Well, I guess I would have to say Budweiser for the moment," he replied casually, "So lay it on me Megs, what's your dare?"

He considered what would be the most uncomfortable for the boy. His optics traced the boy's unimpressive weak outer coverings humans called clothes. If he remembered correctly, the humans had a nudity taboo of some sort.

"Alright fleshling, I dare you to remove all coverings that aren't your fleshy skin and remain thus exposed for the entire night."

The boy squawked indignantly, but at Megatron's look, gritted his teeth and shucked his clothes before sitting back down, flushed red. Interesting. He hadn't realized humans could change color like that. Just to be sure the boy couldn't cheat later… Megatron grinned cruelly and casually disintegrated the boy's cloths save for his pants which he had still been holding, and laughed at the boy's spluttered exclamations of disbelief and defiance.

END OF FLASHBACK…

Megatron settled into his berth with a groan of relief as the memory finished. It was more than his last memory, and he reasoned that more would emerge over time. He was appalled by his behavior around the insect. To think that he had…had allowed himself to participate in such an infantile, primitive game, and, what's worse, he didn't even remember who won!

_Edited and posted July 27th, 2012._


	4. Chapter 4

Warnings: mild swearing, Sam gets pissy, and a misfortunate Starscream.

**Strange Bed Fellows**

Chapter 4

'Why do I put up with this crap?' Sam moaned mentally again as the liaison between the President of the United States and the Autobot faction of Cybertronians- Galloway- continued to tear strips from their collective hind parts.

"…And not only was the leaning tower of Pisa utterly demolished, but the Italian government is demanding an Autobot representative to appear before them and personally explain why a national icon was callously destroyed!" Galloway continued to rant. Ironhide grumbled in Cybertronian under his breath, polishing his beloved canons. Sam strongly suspected insults and mild death threats.

Sam cast a glance at the rest of the Autobots at the table, a tall Autobot-sized monolith piece of furniture that had been created with equally large chairs, with more human sized ones interspersed along the surface, with their own desks attached. Along with the grumbling Ironhide, there was a relaxed, ignoring-the annoying-fleshling Sideswipe. The silver mech let out a chittering hum quietly in that way that Sam had come to recognize meant that he was a Cybertronian version of a chuckle. Sam suspected that Sideswipe was watching more "Dukes of Hazard" reruns on the net again. They were here mainly because it had been them who had accidently decimated said historical structure while fighting a Decepticon incursion in Italy. The fact that Sideswipe had tossed the unlucky 'con into said building, then was summarily blown up with said 'con when Ironhide blew everything up with his cannons was purely by accident.

"The damn building was unsound anyway," muttered Ironhide in English, "Damn thing was leaning over, wasn't even straight."

"That's the point you block head!" yelled Galloway, "That's why it's called the _Leaning_ Tower of Pisa!"

"Humans!" snorted the weapons specialist, shaking his head at the absurdity of it. Optimus Prime, the large blue and red leader, let out an expulsion of air from his cooling vents in a 'bot version of a sigh. Optimus messaged the bridge of his olfactory sensor, something that he had picked up from the humans since arriving to Earth.

Will Lennox and Robert Epps had managed to skip out on the meeting, muttering excuses about a recon mission of some sort that they didn't go into detail about, and had taken Bumblebee along at the small yellow 'bot's request. Sam grimaced, things had been strained between him and his guardian over the past few months, and he knew it was mostly his fault. Sam's restlessness and rages had left the poor 'bot confused and worried. Bumblebee had decided that his human just needed space to 'deal' over everything that had happened to him. Sam felt thankful and a little guilty over his friend's consideration, though that didn't mean that they left him alone. Sam had spotted Jolt and Sideswipe taking turns discreetly tailing him over the past week since Bumblebee had left with Will and Epps. Sam gritted his teeth at the increase in headache as the annoying man continued to berate them. Sometimes being the Autobot diplomat had downsides beyond giant alien robots from the opposing faction trying to squish him.

Speaking of the 'cons… it had been three months since Sam's encounter with Megatron. He hadn't told anyone about the incident, not even Bumblebee. Truthfully, he still remembered very little. Over the past few months though, he would awaken form strange dreams of intense blue light surrounding him in heat and he would awaken covered in sweat, his body burning with heat and a deep sense of longing and loneliness it made his bones ache. It was the same dream and it confused him. Just what the hell had happened to him? To them? Other than that, he remembered nothing.

'Oh well, don't think I really want to know' he thought, 'Given how I woke up that morning.'

Sam frowned at Galloway continued to ramble. He let out an audible growl.

Optimus turned a startled look Sam's way who didn't notice the leader's stare.

'Damn that man is annoying,' Sam began to steam, eyes narrowing. Sam's growling grew perceptively louder. Even Ironhide, still lost in his annoyance with Galloway, and his depression that he wasn't with his human, Will, cast a startled glance at the kid. Galloway though, was oblivious to the increasingly annoyed nineteen-year-old brunette as the liaison walked close to Sam. Sam had been suffering from an increase in smelling ability over the past few months, so Galloway's expensive cologne and shoe polish scent made Sam want to gag, which didn't help his headache or his temper any.

"…And another thing," Galloway continued, "Why the hell should the United States government or any other government talk to some damn kid who isn't even old enough to drink? This just proves my point that you aliens have a screw loose somewhere, having some brat being your spokesperson."

None of the Autobots could get a word in edge wise to warn the annoying human.

Sam's blood boiled, his vision turning red with the all too familiar symptoms of another rage.

Galloway suddenly stopped talking as he finally noticed the enraged teenager. Not because he had finally developed a sense of empathy or self-preservation, but because Sam's fingers had wrapped around the shocked politician's throat and begun to squeeze.

"You," Sam hissed, "Are annoying me, you spineless maggot!" If Sam weren't so angry, he would have laughed at the comical sight of the floundering balding man whose eyes were bugging with fear and oxygen deprivation. Sam's voice had a deeper, growling tone to it dropped more so as he said "I have tolerated your imbecilic presence long enough, worm, and I find that I grow tired of it. You have dared to insult me, and those I consider my friends and family. I suggest you leave before I rip off your audio sensors and shove them up your aft!" Sam followed through with his desire to be rid of the annoying man and dragged the gasping liaison down the table's stairs and out the door of the meeting room. A pair of human guards and Sideswipe looked at the two, startled. Sam ignored Optimus Prime's demands to stand down and Ironhide's cheers of encouragement as he took his fingers from around the man's neck, and instead grabbed the starched white collar of his shirt with one hand, and the waist band of his expensive Armani suit pants with the other. He then bodily tossed the shocked man out the door, high into the air and into an open dumpster. Galloway's legs stuck out awkwardly as flies and other insects returned and circled the passed out liaison's ass.

As quickly as it had come, the rage dissipated, leaving Sam panting and trembling slightly.

"Samuel!"

Sam opened his eyes and looked up at the appalled tone of Optimus Prime. Optimus looked down at him sternly.

Optimus had never seen the normally kind-hearted, quick-witted human ever physically express his temper. He remembered Bumblebee's worried communications about the boy's increased aggression of late, but to actually see the boy become so violent! Optimus, for a moment, witnessing what had happened, listening to the boy speak, and the growling! It was almost like…

"Hey kid! Well done!" This gleeful bellow from his pleased weapons-specialist was followed by the same 'bots enthusiastic slap on the back plates, nearly sending his startled leader flying after Galloway. Humans scattered out of the way before they were accidently squashed.

Optimus managed to catch himself on the edge of a building and whirled on Ironhide, glaring daggers at his grinning subordinate who was looking down at Sam like a proud father.

"Ironhide!" he snapped, aggrieved, "What Sam did should not be congratulated!"

"Aw, lighten up Optimus," Ironhide said off handedly, "Don't tell me that you weren't tempted to at least hang the annoying human from the nearest flag pole by his undies."

"That's not the point Ironhide!" Optimus bit out, blinking at the image only briefly that sprang to his processors at the picture that Ironhide had painted and storing away said image into a spare memory Ingram for later enjoyment, "Sam is our representative amongst the humans! This is not how we should present ourselves! We do not react to taunts; we do not give into our grievances with our allies by using violence! We are trying to keep the peace between the humans and ourselves! How do you think that they will react to their representative being handled in such a manner, even if he is a pri… annoying?"

Sam meanwhile, felt a combination of guilt and frustration; he had acted irrationally, and he knew that Optimus was right. At the same time he also felt a flare of annoyance. Galloway had insulted his and the honor of Cybertronians, he felt that he had acted accordingly, even if Optimus had been right. Sam was suddenly just tired. His body felt so hot that he wondered at the fact that he hadn't already turned into a pile of ash. His head throbbed, and he could feel his heart pounding in his ears and behind his eyes. Sam didn't even wait for the lecture to end, much less a dismissal from Optimus. Instead he slipped away while the leader was busy dressing down the weapons specialist.

Sam stumbled into his quarters in the human barracks of NEST. He buried his hot face into the meager comfort of his pillows. He kicked off his shoes and stared blearily at the beige walls. Truthfully, he could understand Optimus' concern. He didn't know what had gotten into him in the past months. Ratchet had even checked him out with his scanners and could find nothing wrong with Sam other than a slight flaring of energy levels from the latent radiation that all humans carried from their exposure to the Cybertonians. Ratchet believed that Sam's exposure to the effects of the Allspark shard plus the Matrix of leadership had left latent traces of alien energy within his body. Ratchet didn't believe it was harmful, and had said it would eventually settle, or even dissipate since Sam had yet to show any reemergence of the Cybertronian language or knowledge that had lead Sam to the Matrix in Egypt. Ratchet had told him the fever was most likely his body reacting to the foreign energy in his system and to just give it time. Sam groaned, rolling over to stare up at the equally beige ceiling. He felt guilty over his behavior over the past few months. They were his friends; they didn't deserve to have his temper taken out on them.

Sam growled under his breath, what he needed was a break. With college, the events that lead up to and after Egypt, his breakup with Michaela, and his sudden duties as voice for the Autobots with the headache that was his species' government, he really hadn't had any time to really come to terms with or even process everything that has happened to him. He felt as if he were on a barely controlled rollercoaster with no end to the track insight. Sam had used to love riding on a rollercoaster but now he just wanted to get off and find some quiet place to hide where he could think.

Sam blinked as the idea began to take root. He sat up and stared at the Naruto poster that Leo had plastered onto his wall in an attempt to make it homier. "Well, why the hell not?" he mused out loud, "I saved the world twice, hell I've died for this bloody planet and everyone of these bloody people including the Autobots, I think I am entitled to a few days… No, weeks off!"

Sam straightened, his flushed cheeks pulled into a grin at the idea. But then he slumped as reality came crashing in. There was one little snag with that plan.

The Autobots. He knew how much he meant to them. He half suspected that the bulk of them looked at him as their own sparkling or at the very least a brother or best friend. Sam was still wanted in a few countries, he had the same dangers as any celebrity or political person form his own kind, if not more so. People wanted answers; he was the face that had been presented to them. Then there was the Decepticons. The few that had survived were not happy that he had essentially doomed their race to eventual extinction. Sam knew that he would go to his grave bearing the overwhelming weight of his actions. He would never stop feeling guilty about that and in the dark corners of his brain, he had to admit that if a Decepticon did manage to kill him, it was only what he deserved. He never told anyone these thoughts, he knew it would only alarm them; they were his friends and second family. He also knew that when the time came, and he was looking up into red eyes he would accept whatever was dealt him. He would not have any more die for him the way that Optimus had. Not that Sam would go looking for death; he wasn't that noble, it would be a decision that he would make only if it looked like someone tried to stupidly save his life in exchange for theirs.

Sam steered his thoughts from the darker meanderings of his mind and squared his jaw.

"No wonder I'm having mood swings," he grumbled then stood up and raised his fist. "Well slag it, I deserve a Primus damned vacation and I am slagging well going to have my vacation if I have to sneak off this base in the dead of night and hop a plane to the bloody other end of the planet to get it!"

-POV change!-

Warnings: mild swearing, poor Starscream, Strika is interested in something other than battle

Strange Bed Fellows

Chapter 4

Megatron growled at his cringing subordinates.

He watched as Starscream pulled himself out of the wall that Megatron had shoved him through in a fit of temper. Megatron had been even more volatile in the past few months, which normally wouldn't have fazed the Decepticons so much. After all, their leader had suffered a major defeat at the hands of the Autobots, not to mention that strange little squishy. No, it was the mood swings that had them nervous, some even outright frightened.

Megatron suddenly got up from his throne and helped the dazed seeker to his feet.

"Are you alright Starscream? Here let me help you to your feet…"

Starscream, still a little out of it, took his leaders proffered servo without thinking and said, "Thanks."

Megatron suddenly shuddered and glared down at his second in command. With a wordless roar of aggravation, the leader instead wrenched his servo from Starscream and practically ran out of the throne room as if the winds of Unicron were on his heels.

Deceptecons dived out of the way of their storming leader, and soon Megatron was the only Mech around for a mile as the doors slid closed behind him.

Megatron whirled and slammed his servos repeatedly into the abused walls, increasing the collection of dents that had accumulated the past three months. He repeated this action until he had regained his shattered composure. Megatron finally slumped to the floor, leaning his spiky head against the wall and moaned.

"What the slag is wrong with me?" he…he…had actually felt…guilty! Him! The all-powerful Decepticon leader, feared by all mechs, had actually felt bad about tossing his damn sniveling cowardly second into a wall! Pit! And he hadn't been able to kill a human or an Autobot in months! Especially that annoying squishes! Every time he was about to stomp a few bystanders or soldiers into fertilizer, the image of that thrice-damned boy would flash into his processor. Those raids had the lowest body count on both sides since the beginning of the war! It was abominable! He was Megatron! He could not be…

Megatron shuddered as he finally allowed the horrid thought.

Could he be going…soft?

He roared again in denial. No! He was not going soft! He was not a weakling like his brother. He was…he needed…

Then a thought, a crazy thought crossed his processors.

"I need a vacation!" he declared out loud, slightly amazed at the novel idea, but at the same time relived. He calmed down and gave the notion more thought. He had been through quite a lot since he had crashed on the thrice cursed planet, he had been frozen, experimented on, killed, revived and watched his beloved master, the Fallen off-lined before his optics, not to mention the incident that he forever dubbed, 'didn't happen' in his memory Ingrams with the boy. The incident that he couldn't stop obsessing over in the deep hours of his restless recharge cycle. He had yet to unearth any more memories from his high-grade glitched memory of that night. Perhaps, this vacation notion wasn't such a bad idea. He calmed more as he thought about were exactly he could go on this vacation. There was actually a few mildly tolerable places on earth, he could find some out of the way spot, sit back and recharge under the sun, contemplate delicious image such as the bodies of his enemies strewn at this feet…

Why not? After everything he had been through, he disserved a little down time. But where?

ooo ooo ooo ooo

Meanwhile as Megatron contemplated vacation plans…

Strika was fascinated. The frightening Femmbot was rarely interested in anything beyond battle and occasional spars from the few brave mechs who had ball bearings enough to challenge her. Although many a mech had underestimated the warrior's intelligence (and soon lived to regret it) Strika had not discouraged such assumptions. Strika was perhaps even more twisted in her processor at times then Starscream. The only difference was that Strika was ruthlessly single minded, in whatever little obsession pop's into her mainframe. Right now, her latest obsession was the little squishy called Samuel James Witwicky. Ever since she had heard his name whispered with disbelief, anger, and awe amongst the ranks, she had been curious. Strika was a late arrival, and had not been planet side during the events in Mission City or Egypt. When Starscream had explained exactly whom the squishy was, while over energized on the high-grade, Strika had not believed it. A puny organic flesh bag had actually killed Megatron of all mechs? And not only that, had destroyed the Allspark, her peoples' only source of sparklings (which explained the anger from some of the mechs) then to learn that the boy had been honored with the Matrix of Leadership by the Primes. According to the files, the boy had even been killed by Lord Megatron himself, but the boy had some how survived, and had revived another powerful mech, and leader, Prime. As she delved deeper into the files and hacked the human security net, she found herself even more intrigued. To think, an inexperienced youngling of an inferior race held so much potential! Strika had made a point to slip away to earth and observe the boy a number of times. What she found boggled her processors even more. The boy was actually allowed to wonder around with only the minimum of guards? Optimus Prime was surely glitching! They just allowed the boy to wander around as if he didn't have a care in the world. A number of times she had even witnessed the youngling nearly off-lined through various acts of his own clumsiness or the obtuseness of his fellow squishes. Usually when crossing streets or wondering in parking lots to and from the Autobot base and the boy's human educational system. She had been even more astounded when she learned that the boy was actually the Cybertronian voice for the whole planet! Not only that, but the boys education was woefully inadequate. The humans obviously had no idea how to properly educate their younglings! Imagine! No weapons ranges, no battle strategy scenarios, not even a challenge ring to practice hand-to-hand combat! It was appalling! The boy had all this potential and they were going to waste it on a few glitched astronomy classes that were woefully behind the times. Strika had fumed. If the boy had been her youngling, then she would have made sure he got the education that his potential disserved!

It was this outraged internal outburst in her processors that made her pause then made her smile in a way that sent her fellow 'cons scurrying in fear.

"Ah, my little squishy warrior, the things I have planned for you!"

Her pleased humming for the next few weeks had everyone in a state of near spark failure. Between their lords' unusual behavior and now Strika's unnatural good mood, everyone was of the same opinion. Someone, somewhere, was going to suffer, and it was every mech for himself.

ooo ooo

My thanks to: **Lady Quickshift**, **mariforalltmnteterna**, **1Timberwolf**, **PrimesSPARROW**, and the random Guest for your kind reviews.

**News:** 7/31/12: Updates from here on will likely be quite slow. As this story was adopted and these first four chapters are a repost from aliengirlguy, I only needed to edit before posting them. I need to do some research first before writing in this fandom- as much as I enjoy reading this fandom I haven't seen any of the TV shows and I need to go over the movies again. I do intend to continue this story but it'll be a while.

_Edited and posted 7/31/12._


	5. Chapter 5

12/12/12

**Strange Bedfellows: Chapter Five**

Sam slurped delightedly at his coconut based fruit drink. He was currently reclining on a towel on a beach in Hawaii, listening to the ocean and his IPod, not caring what Galloway was getting up to and his current greatest concern occurred when upon sticking his toes in the surf he was pinch by a small crab. His yelp of pain had sent Bumblebee into a small panic up in the parking lot before calling Sam on his phone to ask what had happened.

-POV Change-

Bee had problems understanding humans some times. He couldn't understand what was so great about the beach. Sand got everywhere, his human could get sunburned (he had a timer set to go off every two hours to remind his human to apply more sunscreen), and small animals attacked for no reason at all. Just a few minutes ago Sam had been viciously pinched by a multi-legged armored life form and before that had been brutally mobbed by a flock of wild seagulls! And he seemed delighted by this.

Bee could understand taking breaks from assignments but why was an island so attractive? Sam had always seemed so happy before with just Miles and a new videogame.

Or possibly some private time with Mikela… Which Bee was not supposed to listen in on, but well, you never knew when a femme might illogically attack!

They did that! Chromia frequently attacked Ironhide and when Bee had been younger he had not understood just why Ironhide put up with it. He knew now that there were pleasant rewards for a mech who put up with a femme's illogic and random acts of ferocity but there was also the risk of offending a femme so you had to put up with both without the reward and even more, you had to ask for more to achieve the ever elusive forgiveness so you might be awarded with make up interfacing.

Or worse yet, a femme might be so offended that she might break up with her mech, leaving him broken sparked and her in a worse mood than ever.

Poor Sam. Mikela had been in a mood before her break up and then had brutally broken up with him just for being somewhat distant so as to survive her mood. And later that same night he had been abducted by Decepticons before escaping the next morning. Sam refused to speak of what he remembered had happened, although ha had said that he didn't remember too much, and the Autobots had been worked up into a tizzy over what might have happened to their brave little human.

Was that why he wanted a vacation? So that he could deal with it?

Well, if this blasted island helped Sam recover then Bee would just deal. It wasn't like it would really last that long. Even if Sam spent several weeks out here, it wasn't like that meant too much to a Cybertonian. This thought sent Bee's mood into a depressed spiral over just how short his beloved human's life span was- that they considered four or five weeks as a long time.

So engrossed was he in his morbid thoughts he didn't register Sam sneaking off down the beach.

Sam noticed immediately when Bumblebee distracted himself- it was becoming a very reliable sixth sense of sorts. Being able to tell when an Autobot was focusing made it very easy to sneak away. He wondered if it applied to Deceptions too, but aside from their regular attacks he had been too well guarded to stalk Barricade as he was wont to do.

Stalking Barricade was hilarious. He couldn't turn back into his bipedal form in town and he didn't dare chase Sam as a car while he was so well guarded. He had been much more cautious around the boy since he had killed Megatron but had been assigned to keep an eye on the boy by his lord and so couldn't actually avoid him. This led to him evading the boy while remaining close enough to watch him and still avoid the ever watchful Bumblebee. It was hilarious to know that the Decepticon was slinking around corners to avoid him and had to act as an actual Policeman sometimes to avoid general human suspicion because then the Autobots would be forced to act. Sam had learned that Autobots had a non-violence policy towards Deceptions so long as they remained non-violent themselves. It was a necessary policy to avoid too much property damage to the grumpy humans that owned the planet. Ah, good times.

But back to Hawaii. He carefully edged into the forest. Bird and lizards watched him warily as he walked past, working his way higher up to have a better view of the approaching sunset. He noticed a bit of a clearing ahead and to the left and angled himself towards that. The rough grayish outcropping of rock would work wonderfully as a perch. On this hill, the rock would leave him above the tree tops below even if he were lying down. He clambered up and spread out his sandy towel on the flattest portion and settled himself on his stomach to watch the sunset. He eased himself around on the rock trying to center that nice warm part under his chest- the breeze was chilly this time of day when you were still wet from swimming.

He hummed happily to himself; he hadn't been this relaxed since waking up on Megatron's nice warm chassis. He ignored the latter part of the thought. He had been forced to ignore his own mental commentary lately to remain convinced of his sanity. After all, who thought nice things about how warm Megatron was when you were lying on him, or how calm he had been before waking up properly? No one, that's who. And if this rock reminded him of Megatron for whatever reason, there was no reason for anyone else to ever discover that was why he liked it so very much.

Yesss, nice rock, so warm and nice for Sam. He smiled and rubbed a hand across a smooth section of rock. In fact, if he squinted a bit he could imagine he was actually lying on a grey colored Cybertronian rather than an oddly shaped rock formation. As the sunset sent smears of reds, yellows and purples across the sky he imagined the round- ish part partially hidden in plants to be a head, and the part that he climbed up was an arm and where he was now was probably right over the Spark chamber, which would explain why it was so nice and warm… He blinked, torn out of his near doze by his cell phone.

"Hello?" he slurred into the mic.

"Sam, where are you?" Bublebee demanded.

"Napping on a nice rock, such a nice rock aren't you," he cooed as he petted the rock some more.

"Sam, are you talking to the rock?" Bee was distracted momentarily- was Sam worse off than he thought? "Where exactly is your nice rock?"

Sam woke up a bit more. "No no nonono, I wasn't talking to the rock. I was thinking out loud. I'm up the hill a bit, I can see you from here actually, turn around and I'll wave."

Bumblebee turned around obediently, "Do you have something bright you can hold as you wave?"

Sam lifted the lit cell into the air as he waved.

"Alright, I can see you. What are you doing up there?"

"I was watching the sunset from this rock. I discovered it was a very nice rock and I think I'll come back here tomorrow too."

"For a rock?"

"It's a nice rock," Sam defended his choice of rock. "I can see the water from up here, and it's sort of secret, you can keep your eye on me and I could nap up here- it'll be in the shade morning and early afternoon so I can be outside without worrying about sunscreen, and… It's a nice rock."

"If you like it that well, I won't say anything…"

"Good," Sam interrupted.

"But you should come down now before you have to make your way through the trees in the dark. I'll turn on my head lights so you can guide yourself by that. Keep your cell on and I'll tell you if you are getting too off track."

_Disclaimer: I do not own Sam, Bumblebee or any other Cybertron. I make no money for this and writer for my own amusement and responses form readers. The first four chapters were written by aliengirlguy, so this is my first chapter of this story. I hope you enjoyed it. This chapter has not been edited yet, and the final version may change a bit. _


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